You know what?
There’s a whole lot of misinformation out there on low stress grooming, which is why it’s easy to feel defeated when you think you are doing everything “right” and still not getting the results you expect.
Before I learned how to work with dogs in a less stressful way, I tried every "trick of the trade" I could think of that would help make my grooming results less intense.
Expert #1 would say "you have to be more firm and stop letting your emotions take over" and expert #2 would say "stop letting the dog get their own way and the dog will learn to tolerate the process without wasting any of your time".
You might assume that low stress grooming is about removing all stress because it sounds closely similar to other terms such as 'fear free' and 'stress free'' but here's the thing - none of these terms actually expect a dog to ever be without some degree of stress! Confusing, right?
In its most simplest term, low stress grooming is about lowering our expectations to make the energy in the grooming environment more positive.
There are many people who are simply not prepared to understand the methods and intention behind low stress grooming concepts because they have gotten too comfortable in their ignorance. Maya Angelou once said, "we can only do the best we can until we know better, and when we know better, do better".
Knowledge makes change necessary.
There are also people who don't have enough self-belief that they can learn new concepts which is of course, a different sort of limiting belief forged in feelings of low self-esteem (more on this later).
I have learned that low stress grooming is as much about having realistic expectations of myself and the dogs in my care as it is about learning a bunch of handy techniques and exercises that help make grooming tasks more accessible and achievable to dogs.
For one, it would be silly to strive for a totally "stress free" grooming environment and I talk about this in more detail in another blog post.
I used to battle over what I wanted when it came to running my grooming business:
Did I want to eradicate stress completely and if not, how much stress was acceptable?
What would be the most effective way to handle stressed dogs when faced with the demands of achieving a certain groom standard?
How could I learn to identify stress easily and early while developing my ability to problem-solve on the spot?
What did I define as 'success' if it wasn't achieving a perfectly preened pooch?
I came to the conclusion that all I really wanted was for dogs to find time with me pleasant, even enjoyable and to make the grooming process cooperative and in a sense, therapeutic.
But without any clear direction as to how I was going to get there, those questions had me fall into a well of frustration, confusion, procrastination and ultimately, burnout.
It wasn't until I read the book 'Daring Greatly' by Brené Brown, I realised that my struggles were not so much in my potential to work with dogs in a low stress way, but rather my ability to overcome limiting beliefs that were holding me back from making the necessary changes.
Read on for some of the most common limiting beliefs to hold anyone back from achieving their full potential, and learn some simple steps on how to turn them into productive superpowers that can catapoult your business to true success .
Limiting Belief #1: Making mistakes is the biggest sign of failure.
I don't know about you but I was raised with the mentality that mistakes were a sign of underachieving and failing. I grew up understanding that in order to excel at life I had to work hard, do well in school and strive for straight A's to be considered smart. Not being "good" at something was often translated to failure.
I believe this mentality is one of a certain generation - do you recall ever making a mistake in class and being publicly confronted for it? I do. I remember one teacher in particular, who would humiliate students by having them perform certain "punishments" for not doing something right, such as measuring the length of a corridor with a ruler (true story).
For many children, growing up was a battle of the fittest, the strongest and the smartest and if you didn't excel at something you were considered stupid.
While I'm happy to see that times have changed a lot since I was at school and children today are embraced and even celebrated for their diverse capabilities when it comes to education and to life experiences, the reality is that there are many individuals out there who are still trying to recover from years of unfair criticism, and in doing so have learned to avoid pushing themselves out of fear of more ridicule and failure.
How to turn a fear of failure into a superpower
If you are a person who can resonate with this limiting belief, you first have to challenge it.
Ask yourself why you think being less than perfect and/or making a mistake is such a bad thing.
In the context of grooming:
Perhaps it's because you are afraid people will think less of your ability to groom dogs if suddenly you are no longer able to groom from beginning to end in one session.
Perhaps you are afraid your peers will laugh at you the moment you mention the words "consent" and dogs in the same sentence.
Spend some time thinking about those questions now and scribble down your thoughts on paper.
Once you have your answers, think about what it would be like to think the opposite. What would it be like to have the courage to try something knew? How would it feel to embrace your mistakes? Would it make your successes all the more special? How would you feel entering new challenges in the future with this sort of self-belief and confidence?
There's absolutely no pressure to take action now but I would like you to begin thinking consciously about these things until you are ready to proceed with the next step. Going all-in for the challenge!
When you’re ready, you can even think about reaching out for help finding the next right step for you.
The Holistic Grooming Academy have a couple of great options for professional dog groomers looking to learn more about low stress grooming concepts in a safe and inclusive learning space, including:
Both of these options will allow you to join a community of like-minded groomers who are actively learning and growing together while improving the results they are getting in their own businesses.
Limiting Belief #2 – I have other things I need to work on first before I commit.
We all have a list of things we need to do, and in what order we want to do them.
For example, “I’ll get to learning more about low stress grooming as soon as I have built up a strong clientele of customers and don't have to worry about money.”
Sound familiar?
But if you have been procrastinating on low stress grooming even though you know it will make the experience for yourself and the animals in your care better, it’s probably time to re-prioritise what's on your to-do list! What's more important than ensuring the quality of your service is the very best it can be?
Don't mistake excuses for legitimate reasons to postpone plans.
Based on the example above, does it really make sense to attract customers based on your existing methods first to then expect them to accept significant changes to the way you conduct your business? It's far more difficult to convince existing clients to transition to low stress grooming concepts, than it is to first implement low stress grooming concepts and seek out the customers actively looking for your specialised services.
That being said it is absolutely possible for your existing dog carers to change as well, and I have witnessed many happily let go of unrealistic expectations in return for a happier dog.
Perhaps you are avoiding learning about low stress grooming because you don't think you are ready to change just yet and you are too afraid to find out...
It’s also common to procrastinate and think of excuses to avoid something that makes you feel inexperienced, vulnerable and/or afraid.
But guess what?
Everyone feels those feelings. But you will learn so much more in actively pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, than you ever will continuing to conduct your business the exact same way year after year.
As someone wise once said, "do you have 20 years of experience or 1 year of experience repeated 20 times?". Ponder on that for a moment...
How to turn fear-induced procrastination into a superpower
Here's a fun exercise! Whenever you are about to subscribe to an event or learning opportunity that isn't to do with getting you closer to the goal of grooming in a low stress way, STOP!
Instead, seek out an alternative CPD source that is all about low stress/holistic grooming concepts (The Holistic Grooming Academy Members Subscription has hours of CPD and is just £15, plus you can cancel anytime!). Once you have successfully resisted procrastination, put £1.00 (more is optional) in a money jar and carry on with your day as planned.
Congratulations! You have taken one big step towards your ultimate goal.
The purpose of this activity is to break the habit of procrastinating on what truly matters, and the reason it can help is all thanks to BF Skinner and his observations in Operant Conditioning.
Skinner observed that when something pleasant occurs as a consequence to something else (which in this case is saving £1 for not investing in another aesthetic-focussed seminar), you are training yourself to repeat the desired behaviour (investing in low stress grooming CPD over other forms of CPD).
So instead of dreading the thought of learning about low stress grooming, you look forward to it because you get to tip yourself £1 every time you do!
Over the course of days, weeks and months you will have saved up some money which could then be invested into something more significant, such as enrolling on The Holistic Grooming & Behaviour Diploma. Yippee!
Limiting Belief #3: I'm not smart enough to learn about low stress grooming if it's based on scientific methods.
Maybe you didn't go to University or maybe you were a school drop-out and didn't even get to go to Prom so you might somehow think that this means you are not smart enough to learn advanced skills or try something outside the norm.
I understand but I don't agree, and here's why:
Albert Einstein. Steve Jobs. Charles Dickens. Mark Twain. Walt Disney. Sir Richard Branson. Bill Gates. Mark Zuckerberg. Henry Ford.
Does it come as a surprise to know that all of these pioneers were school drop outs? It certainly proves my point that you don't have to be the smartest person on paper to excel in a job that you love.
The fear of not being smart enough is one that many people share, or have experience in feeling at some stage in their life. It has been programmed into us from a very young age that we rely on schooling to make something of ourselves despite the countless individuals who have gone on to prove that this is absolute nonsense.
And so, the problem with this belief is that it can prevent more empowering beliefs from forming such as, the belief that you are capable of anything that you set your mind to.
How to turn feeling not smart enough into a superpower
Imagine you were one of the pioneers above - how do you feel being that individual? Do you feel confident? Do you feel capable? Do you feel limitless? Do you feel worthy?
Now think about being that person at the moment they decided to drop out of school, can you imagine feeling inadequate, or stupid?
Probably not because you have the gift of foresight and already know that years later you will get to show the world exactly what you're made of. But I could bet that in those moments, they probably were feeling all of the same feelings you are right now but somehow, they made those insecurities their superpower. Steve Jobs once said, "You can't connect the dots looking forward - you can only connect them looking back", and so to overcome this limiting belief you must have faith that one day you will look back and understand why everything happened the way it did, and that the Universe wanted you to take a chance right now.
Limiting Belief #4: I don't have enough time to start everything from scratch!
If you believe you are too busy to change you’ll always find ways to keep yourself occupied with those other activities rather than dedicate time to developing your skills in low stress grooming.
Saying you don’t have time is really saying achieving low stress in the grooming environment is not a priority.
The truth is, if you really want something you will make time for it. You will get up an hour earlier just to study. You will skip the night out to the pub on Saturday. You will choose to spend a few hours reading over binge watching a box set.
Now, I'm not saying you should give up the parts of your life that allow you to escape - we all need a work:life balance, however the point I am trying to make is that the pioneers I've mentioned are given the same amount of time in the day as you, so time is not a good enough reason to hold back on your full potential.
From another perspective, there are also people who believe they are too old to learn something new! Well I'm here to say that you CAN teach an old dog new tricks...
How to turn time into a superpower
You don’t need to think about blocking off weeks of your time to learn the necessary skills to start achieving low stress grooming results. You just have to set aside small study sessions with consistency.
As I've already mentioned, it's about how you plan your day and it can often help sitting with a paper diary and organising your day-to-day, hour-to-hour. Compromising some luxuries every now and then will help keep you feeling productive, while keeping the momentum going.
Don't be afraid to commit.
My students are advised to dedicate between three and six hours a week in order to confidently graduate in the Holistic Grooming & Behaviour Diploma. When you think about how many hours are in a week, suddenly six hours seems easy.
Here’s how to get started:
#1 - Get out your diary and block off small study sessions 2-3 times a week to start getting into the habit of learning. Remembering it's not about removing all of the things you enjoy doing outwith work as well. Your work:life balance is necessary for a stable and content life.
#2 - Think about your learning style and how you enjoy learning. Perhaps you are a kinaesthetic learner like me (you like to get hands-on). Perhaps you're more auditory (you like to listen and hear information), maybe you are a more visual (you like to see information in images such as infographics). Your learning style is significant because it taps into how you best connect with learning to help you successfully retain new information.
#3 - Break it all up into managable chunks and set yourself small, achievable goals. One big mistake many students make is setting huge, unrealistic goals and then losing confidence when they fail. Instead, think of the ultimate goal as the last step in a ladder to success - each and every step before the top is one achievable goal you must obtain before you move on to the next. Or if you are a gamer, then think of goals as checkpoints, that lead to the finish line of that specific, ultimate goal. Keep in mind that when it comes to learning and growing, there's no such thing as a final destination. Once you have reached the finish line, it's on to the next Level, and so on.
FYI - you are already making great progress!
Getting this far down just proves you are more than capable of committing the time needed to mastering low stress grooming.
And of course I would love for you to decide to join me over at the academy if you feel inspired and ready to embark on something a little more advanced. But if you still find yourself struggling to find the confidence to sign up to The Holistic Grooming & Behaviour Diploma, think about what may be holding you back.
If you can, write down as many limiting beliefs you feel are keeping you from progressing, and don’t be afraid to see them on paper because there's a purpose to this exercise.
Now it's time to turn them into empowering beliefs! Write your new empowering beliefs down in a fresh bit of paper, pick up your old list and either burn it in your log burner (if you have one) or bury it in the dirt outside.
Now, they no longer exist.
Anytime you feel that niggling sense of self-doubt kick in, read over your empowering beliefs as many times as required, until you remember why you have chosen to do that scary thing in the first place.
I'm living proof that it's possible to take control of your self-sabotaging thoughts.
I'm not saying that they won't come to the surface every now and then, because they will, but using the tips in this post you will have everything you need to cast them aside once more and keep pushing forward towards your version of success.
Remember, you can always arrange a chat with me or pop me an email if you have any concerns: stephanie@holisticgroomingacademy.com.
But for now, let’s say goodbye to burnout and stressed out dogs, and get you finally transforming your dog grooming business into the holistic, low stress place you have always dreamed of.
Comments